2007

.Okay, it has been a while. I am I suppose the type of person that kind migrates away from public exposure when I am experiencing a shit storm in my life. Well, I have had some time to deal with the situation and weigh out the available options. And as they say, "this too shall pass". Well, sort of anyways!  The hardest part I have to say is the fact that I always considered myself to be well...A cold, hard bitch if you will. The type that was not mushy and lovey (remember that whole work place hug thing?) and really could care less about most things. I was sure that accurately described me, or was me until all that shit happened. It was a real mind bender to realize how fucked up I became over it and what a dramatic effect it had on me and my current situation with life. To make matters worse I tried to be all barney-bad-ass about it and keep it to myself and deal with it alone, privately, like hard, strong people do. This approach only made me a freaking basket case. Then, in what I like to refer to as a moment of weakness, I broke down at work and later spilled it all here to you guys. Feeling better momentarily was good but ultimately the embarrassment of the whole thing pretty much sucked. That momentary lapse in judgment definitely makes my top 5. Therefore, that’s where I am at now. It is what it is and fuck, well thats it. It's fucked up, but it's almost like history now. What an ending to 2006. Watching your life happen in such gasping unreality is tripped way out. First confession of 2007: it makes me smile to think that I have an entire year ahead of me to improve all that needs improving.

I didn't make a resolution this year. Why? exactly. I have made a few new friends and sadly have become distant from some of my previous best ones. Nevertheless, life is strange and beautiful that way, nothing stays the same. Change for me is the most scary and awesome feeling. It is harder for me to accept change when it is tossed in my lap with out question or concern. Oh, what the year will hold.